Tuesday, August 21, 2012

How to deal with a friend who is impatient

Are you stuck with a friend who is impatient? Is your friend habitually pushing your buttons and constantly rubbing you the wrong way? Can you not brush aside this ‘impatient’ trigger which tends to upset you and avert your peace of mind? Well, if you are one of those friends beset with similar dark apprehensions, you are strongly advised to learn ways to overlook the frailties in your friend. 

Although patience may be a ‘virtue,’ impatience by itself is not a vice; it is most simply a shortcoming- - -negligible in some and prominent in others. And don’t all humans have their peculiar shortcomings? Have you considered the possibility that perhaps, your friend’s impatience could be the figment of your own perception?  It could happen that her spontaneous thoughts, impulsive feelings and hasty actions, are the segments of your personal interpretation of her attitude to life.

Now, even if you continue to believe that this person, with whom you have struck friendship, is truly impatient, it is up to you to deal with her in the best possible way you can. Your best bet would be to find ways to take your friend’s so-called impatience in your stride; accept her friendship and enjoy your friend as she is, without unduly focusing on changing her.

Understandably, your friend’s impatience may turn out to be confusing or even disturbing for you.  In that case, instead of getting unnecessarily perturbed or annoyed, take a deep breath and cool down. Remain calm no matter how peeved you may feel at that particular moment in time. If you truly care for this particular friend, avoid the temptation of simply giving up on your friendship by shelving your friend aside. Do not allow your emotions to disrupt the special bond you have with your friend.

Instead, embrace your friend with all the kindness you can muster. Appreciate her strengths and overlook her impatience. Believe that you can deal with the situation effectively with the largeness of heart and generosity of spirit. Recognize that your friend is human too and has her own peculiar characteristics. Perhaps that’s the way she is by her inherent nature.  Or it could be that your friend is driven by her passion to achieve more to prove her worth to her family, friends or her boss.

Bear in mind that her oddity may have nothing to do with you being a creature of her own free will. She may be your friend; but you don’t own her. It would therefore be most beneficial if you practice tolerance. Make an honest effort to find out what really aggravates your impatience and how best you could avoid it. To help you in your quest of dealing with a friend who is impatient, remember the following words of the great American poet and essayist, “To have a good friend, is one of the greatest delights of life.”

 In the final analysis, it is entirely up to you to strike a balance and enjoy the many splendor joys which your friend can bring into your life. Get to know your friend better. Demonstrate confidence in her potential and ability. This might prompt her to be less edgy, slow down, and not be overly impatient. Your  patience, empathy and persistence, could work together to combat her impatience. Who knows?

Rest assured that taking the cue from your positive vibes, your friend would go out of her way to reiterate her bonds of friendship with you. Once she realizes that you are not one of those friends who could be easily ruffled with her impatience, there is every possibility that she would astutely remain your true, loyal friend till the end of your days. 


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